“Kids need a bit of discipline.
It never did me any harm.”
Studies into mental health consistently
show the link between violence and poor
health. Adults who were abused as children
make up a link in a tragic chain: they
are less likely to enjoy happy and fulfilled
lives, and they are more likely to turn
to violence themselves – the one
way of solving problems that they learnt
as a child.
“Everyone
is dead set against a ban on corporal
punishment. It’s not possible to
change people’s attitudes.”
The Swedish case proves the opposite.
When Sweden first talked about a ban,
there was a good deal of opposition. It
was made law in 1979. Awareness-raising
campaigns and good parenting classes brought
about a sea change in attitudes. By 1995,
only 6 per cent of parents thought it
was acceptable to smack a child.
“Ok, the
cases we see in the papers are bad, but
violence and sexual abuse in families
is really very rare. The family is a safe
haven for kids.”
The cases that hit the headlines are the
tip of the iceberg. Research done by organizations,
such as the Council of Europe, is critical
of the media for sensationalizing the
unusual – such as abductions by
strangers – whilst most violence
and abuse takes place in the home. A UNICEF
Innocenti Report Card showed that 3,500
children under 15 die as a result of physical
assault and neglect each year in industrialized
countries.
“We can’t
interfere in other people’s cultures…
even if we don’t like what they
do.”
Nothing excuses the sort of violence that
happens when girls are circumcised, children
forced into early marriages or punished
– even killed – for some transgression
to cultural rules. Awareness-raising projects,
such as the EC Daphne programme, have
shown that it is possible to work with
community and religious leaders to change
attitudes.
Fathers have changed
their minds on genital circumcision when
confronted with the reality of the pain
their daughter goes through. Communities
have begun to look at ways to preserve
the ceremonies that mark the transition
from childhood to adulthood in a celebratory
and non-violent way.
“My neighbour
slaps her kids around – but it’s
none of my business.”
Ignoring violence is tantamount to condoning
violence. It might not be right to confront
the perpetrator face on, but there are
many ways to help. The police or authorities
can be alerted or you can support the
child and get in touch with a telephone
helpline. You can also join the campaign
against child violence through one of
the many campaigning groups Europe-wide
and get your voice heard.
“Kids are
tough. They soon forget.”
Interviews with kids of as young as five
from a range of countries showed the extent
of the damage. “It hurts you inside,”
said one seven-year-old. A poll of children
carried out by UNICEF found that children
want the opportunity to talk things out,
not to be hit or shouted at.
“Most parents
don’t smack their kids.”
Studies show that where corporal punishment
is still legal, most parents believe in
it and use it. Research in the Slovak
Republic in 2002 found that 98.6 per cent
of parents believed they should smack
children, and 42 per cent thought it was
OK to do it with an implement.
“Well,
violence is not pleasant, but it’s
hardly a priority problem. It’s
not as if it’s harming the economy,
is it?”
Violence costs money. It means money for
the health service – first of all
to deal with battered limbs, and then
later on to patch up battered lives as
older children and adults abused as children
turn to drugs, alcohol or truancy to escape
their problems. A 1999 WHO report on prevention
suggests that human and financial costs
of child sexual abuse to society is costly:
“Preventive costs are many times
less than the combination of initial and
long-term costs … to the individual,
family and society.”
“Sticks
and stones may hurt their bones but words
can never hurt. So if I don’t smack
my child, I can’t do them any harm,
can I?”
Punishment that doesn’t use violence
can be just as harmful. Work by the Council
of Europe has shown that mental violence
– such as threatening, ridiculing
or scaring children – poses a serious
health problem in Europe. Children are
also affected by violence between parents.
The best solution is for Governments to
provide support for parents to help them
work out how to react appropriately.
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